Every great jump ship in aviation history, plus one blimp — all flying on a wing and a prayer, for a boogie that most definitely won’t fly.
The boogie gold standard. We call every operator each January. They now keep a folder for us. It is labeled “DO NOT.”
Booked until 2031We requested a quote in 2019. The operator replied “lol.” Our legal team is reviewing whether that constitutes a contract.
Quote pending (2019)The flying shed. Tailgate exits, group dreams, zero availability. The committee unanimously agrees it would have been sick.
HypotheticalWe emailed the Air Force about a weekend rental. They replied “how did you get this address.” We consider negotiations open.
Pentagon on holdClimbs like it’s angry. Built for skydiving in New Zealand — which is where it lives, and it has seen our schedule.
Wrong hemisphereFast to altitude, slow to reply. The operator has been reading our messages since 2021. We can see the checkmarks. We don’t talk about the checkmarks.
Left on readCould carry every registrant, their gear, their cars, and their emotional baggage in one lift. Requires a runway longer than our entire venue. Which we also don’t have.
Needs a runwayA hop-n-pop at 35 knots ground speed — the sunset would beat us down. Lawyers say we can’t name the tire company. The blimp formerly known as legally distinct.
Too slow to scrubInstant altitude, silent running, door location unknown. Still the only aircraft to confirm attendance — every year, over the bonfire, around 11pm. Beer light means beer light.
ConfirmedFLEET STATUS: 0 AIRWORTHY · 0 BOOKED · 1 EXTRATERRESTRIAL · ALL SPECS SOURCED FROM A GUY AT THE BONFIRE. HE SEEMED SURE.
Aircraft specs, load capacity, climb times, live status — this page is a working demo of the event sites we build at skydive.studio.
